Neither motherhood nor NEET preparation is a journey one would call easy. Sure enough it’s rare to even see these two words in the same sentence, let alone witness one person handling both at the same time. But for 20-year-old Saniya, life is all about juggling these two roles. The young woman is preparing to appear on one of India’s toughest exams next year, all while handling her mom duties. She dreams of becoming a doctor one day.
As inspiring as it sounds, even reaching a stage where Saniya could choose her studies did not come easy for her.
Married at 18 so she could study
Saniya, now a mother to a 5-month-old baby girl, Eliza, got married at the age of 18. Her marriage story is yet another not-so-ordinary one. Born into a Muslim family, Saniya, a resident of Delhi, says the pressure for marriage started after she completed class 10th. However, the 20-year-old says she knew her “conservative” family would not support her studies or her dream to become a doctor. Saniya decided that if she had to get married, she would marry the person she loves, and that person was Vishal.
When her family refused to accept the relationship, things escalated to the point where the matter reached the police. Eventually Saniya and Vishal got married.
Saniya says her “main motive” to get married was to get the opportunity to study. When she married Vishal, she had not even completed her school. “Shaadi ke baad maine decide kiya ki main apni padhai dobara start karungi,” says the 20-year-old. After her marriage, she continued her studies and completed class 12th.
Soon she became a mother.
Saniya says there are days when the only time she gets for her studies is either when the baby is asleep or late at night after everyone else in the house has gone to bed.
"Studying between baby naps"
When Eliza was just one and a half months old, Saniya decided to resume her NEET preparations. Interestingly, the Bio of Saniya’s Instagram page
@dr_neetmom, (where she posts videos of her preparation journey) says “Studying between baby naps.” While the sentence sounds pretty “cute” to hear, Saniya admits that in reality, it’s challenging. “Sunne me cute lagta hai but reality me kaafi challenging hota hai. Kabhi baby so jaye tab padhai hoti hai, kabhi raat ko sabke so jane ke baad,” she says explaining that there are days when the only time she gets for her studies is either when the baby is asleep or late at night after everyone else in the house has gone to bed.
“Ghar ke kaam, baby ki needs aur studies ek saath manage karna exhausting hota hai, but mera dream mujhe motivate karta hai,” shares the 20-year-old NEET aspirant expressing that even if all the other responsibilities feel exhausting at times, her dream keeps her motivated.
Saniya says the practice of posting daily vlogs on social media is like little reminders of her journey to herself. As for her studies, she takes help from coaching lessons available online and heavily relies on self-study.
Saniya believes no one’s dreams should end because of age, marriage, or motherhood.
Saniya's husband became her biggest support
In Indian society, women are often expected to leave their professional ambitions after marriage or motherhood. But in this case, luck was on Saniya’s side. “Meri journey me mere husband bahut important role play karte hain,” says Saniya, as she credits her husband Vishal, a gig worker, for being her biggest pillar of strength. “Responsibilities toh meri life me bhi bahut hain, lekin mere husband ne mujhe kabhi aisa feel nahi hone diya ki mujhe hi sab kuch akela karna hai.” From helping with household work to taking care of their daughter, Saniya says he makes sure she gets time to study. “Jab bhi main demotivate hoti hu, vo mujhe motivate karte hain aur hamesha bolte hain ki ‘tum bas mehnat karo, baaki sab ho jayega.’ According to her, his support has made all the difference.
The NEET paper leak controversy shook Saniya's confidence
Like lakhs of other aspirants, Saniya was deeply affected by the NEET paper leak controversy. “Jab maine NEET paper leak ke baare mein suna, tab honestly main puri tarah toot chuki thi. Mujhe lagne laga tha ki shayad meri mehnat ka koi value hi nahi hai.” Once again, it was her husband who encouraged her to continue. “Khud ko sambhal, bas mehnat kar… teri mehnat ka fal tujhe zarur milega,” he said to her at the time.
Dreams should never end because of marriage or motherhood
Criticism and taunts are now like regular areas of life. “Logon ke taane toh har kisi ko milte hain… lekin mujhe shayad thode ‘plus level’ ke taane milte hain,” Saniya says with a smile adding that perhaps the criticism is harsher because she chose her own marriage and is now pursuing her studies after becoming a mother. “Logon ko lagta hai ki ab mera sapna khatam ho jana chahiye tha” (People feel her dream should have ended by now), shares Saniya. “Kuch nahi kar payegi,” “Ye sab bas natak hai,” “Shaadi se pehle nahi kar pai toh ab kya kar legi?’ Some comments hurt her, some create pressure, at times, she says, “Aisa lagta hai jaise sab bas wait kar rahe ho ki main haar maan lu” (“It feels people are simply waiting for me to give up”). However Saniya refuses to stop trying. Today, she says that she dreams not just for herself, but for all the girls and mothers out there who quietly give up on their ambitions because of society’s fears and expectations. Saniya believes that no one’s dreams should end because of age, marriage, or motherhood.
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