Exclusive: Dimpy Ganguly on being a mom to 3 kids, ‘the sleep deprivation takes a toll on your memory, I tend to forget things at times’

Dimpy Ganguly spoke to ETimes TV exclusively after giving birth to baby number 3 Rishaan. The mom of three, in a candid chat, spoke about how overwhelming and challenging it is to have a big family. In her words, ‘Nobody said it’s going to be a breeze’, Dimpy spoke about having sleepless nights, losing memory and a lot more. While she spoke about the challenges, she also shared the brighter side of having a big family. Read it all here:

Honestly, it’s been very overwhelming. When you go from 1 to 2nd baby, you divide the time accordingly and you get very comfortable. When you have a third person, the newborn takes all of your time. I am breastfeeding and suddenly it’s like all your time is being taken up by the baby and the other 2 babies are suddenly wondering ‘where did mamma go?’ So, it takes a while. After 3 months, I do have a routine in my life. I can give equal amount of time to my 3 babies. It’s a 24-hr job. First part of the day is taken over by the eldest – Reanna, second half is Aryan and the entire night is taken over by Rishaan.

I feel very good about myself. When I look at my family, I feel ‘wow, I have a big family’. It’s great. I don’t think anybody I have known before has imagined me to be a mom of 3. I like the admiration people have when I tell them I have 3 children. I have realised, the more kids you have, the more proactive you become because you are forced to think out of your comfort zone. When Reanna was born, she was just growing up and learning things on her own. I was laid back. When you have more kids, you need to get them out of the house. I don’t mean mall, but engage them in activities. You are forced to be more energetic even if it means 4-5 cups of coffee. At the end of the day, you feel like you have achieved something.

Oh no no! Don’t ask me that question. I don’t clock the hours. I know it doesn’t last very long. It’s challenging. When you don’t get that continuous 4 hours of sleep, the REM period, you start losing memory. As a new mom I feel it’s very challenging. You can’t remember. That’s the most challenging part I feel, the memory loss because you are not sleeping at a stretch. But when you just look at your baby, who has no idea about the world and he just needs you. I think it may just be 2 years, you need that rigour and it won’t last lang. So you just go through this.

The sleep deprivation takes a toll on your memory. That sometimes get to me. At times, I have completely forgotten that I have to cook a meal. There’s food for the kids, but I had to cook for myself and I would forget. Then I would have to order take-outs. Reanna’s school has different days. Honestly, I am not on point. I feel terrible at times. My daughter has become responsible and she remembers and reminds me.

As we speak, Rohit is not even here. He travels 3 times a week. I am quite ok that way. I have settled up like this is my day and this is what I need to do. He is doing his best as a father, he is doing his best as a provider. His job is extremely taxing. All this while he was working from home, and when I would take Reanna out, I knew there’s someone at home. That has changed. But on the upside, now when he has meetings, I don’t have to keep the kids quiet. My kids can scream, shout, and cry. I don’t have to stress.

I am a breastfeeding mother, so Rohit has no role to play here. I am up anyways and with two parents groggy, it doesn’t work. If one of the parents is rested, I feel it is easier to handle the kids’ morning energy. Else both the parents will be snappy with no sleep. I never even demanded that from my husband. He would want to get engaged, but I would want him to be well-rested.

The first two are always fighting. Reanna somehow thinks that Aryan is copying him. Aryan is growing up and picking up things. Now, Reanna doesn’t like it. But they have their good times too. Reanna also can’t keep her hands off Rishaan. Bunny at times gets jealous when I get busy with Rishaan. He screams, when Rishaan needs me. But to be fair, it was Bunny all this time. Prepare the kids and communicate with them a bit ahead of time of how things are going to get.

I have help now. But she is kind of floating… sometimes the baby, sometimes Bunny. I do have a nanny. It’s humanly not possible to be at three places at the same time. I don’ want my kids to be sad children. I want them to be happy. I have decided not to send Bunny to the nursery this year. He will straight away go to school. When Reanna went to school at 3 and half, she was very happy to go. I didn’t want to force Bunny to go to school or nursery.

You know women who are considering motherhood or parenthood or more children… Yes, it is hard. Believe me, of late, I am only meeting mothers who have 3-4 kids. The amount of things they are able to do is just amazing. Some of them are working full time. Kids don’t weigh you down, they inspire you to do more.