Dear daughter, I want you to know these important things about sex!

Dear daughter, we live in a society where sex is still considered a taboo. Parents prefer to have a hush-hush conversation with their children on this topic. In fact, my parents willingly chose not to discuss anything remotely related to sex with me all their life. As a child, I always wondered what the fuss was all about!

When I brought you in this world, I made a promise that I would not be a mother with a conservative approach towards anything, including sex. Everybody does it, and so will you one day. And what’s wrong in that? Today, it’s National Girl Child Day, and what could be a better occasion to talk about these seven things, which I want you to know before you have sex…

This is something you might realise with age and experience. No matter how sex is portrayed in some movies or novels where the protagonists have sex in a moment of haste or drunken stupor, the experience called sex is much more than a physical need. You will enjoy sex in long term only with someone with whom you share an emotional intimacy. In fact, you will experience a whole new set of feelings if you have it with someone you love.

Even if all your friends discuss their ‘cool’ sex life and laugh at you for not experiencing it yet, please do not have sex only because everyone around you are experimenting with it. I know it can be confusing to decide the right time to have sex and peer pressure only worsens this dilemma. But as a friend who has seen this world a little more than you (25 years more to be precise!), I will advise you to have sex only when you feel you are ready. Look for the right person and the right reason to have it, you will thank me later!

I understand that it might be very difficult to resist the temptation to get physically intimate with a person you are in love with. There’s always an initial attraction when you meet someone new and everything feels great. You come to terms with reality only when this rosy phase is over. Remember that love leads to a deeper connection with time, and lust wears off once that ‘newness’ of the relationship is over.

Sometimes, people have sex because the person they are in love with wants to enjoy some intimate moments. They do it just to please him or her because they fear that their partner will take offense if the physical demands are not met. If you have sex to please someone, it means you are using sex as a tool to keep the relationship intact. Trust me, this is not the right approach.

Be it your husband or your boyfriend, you always have the right to say ‘no’ if you do not want to have sex with the person. No one can force you to have sex because when it is not consensual, it is a crime. It is very important to learn when and how to say ‘no’ if you do not want a person to get physically intimate with you.

Like any other good experience, sex too can be very addictive. You will come across a lot of people who indulge in sex for temporary relief from stress or problems in their personal life. Don’t you ever treat sex as a solution to any of your problems. It might offer a temporary relief but not a permanent solution. Rather, be strong enough to face all the challenges life throws at you without relying on momentary solutions.

I agree, we have a generation gap and can have different perspectives about things. But that does not mean you cannot discuss any of your problems with me. I have been in your shoes when I was your age, and always wanted someone with experience to guide me. I want you to know that I am not just your mother, but also a friend you can rely on and a guide whom you can trust blindly.

(Disclaimer: All the images have been used for representative purpose)