Are you raising your child right? Sadhguru points out one parenting habit that may be teaching children the wrong lesson

Every parent wants their child to be happy, healthy and emotionally secure. Yet, according to Sadhguru, many parents may unknowingly be encouraging the opposite. It begins with something so common that most families don’t even realize it. A child comes home bursting with excitement after a good day at school, laughing loudly and running through the house. The response? “Stop shouting,” “Calm down,” “Why are you making so much noise?” But when that same child falls sick, has a rough day or breaks down crying, everything flips. Parents become softer and more attentive. As a result, the child gets comfort, concern and care.
However, Sadhguru says this seemingly harmless pattern could be sending children a quiet but powerful message: being unhappy gets you noticed. And that, according to him, is where the problem begins.

Images Courtesy: Isha Foundation

In one of the reels recently posted on his Instagram, Sadhguru pointed to a pattern that plays out in homes everywhere. “Right from childhood this comes. If you're sick, you get attention. If you're joyful, you'll get scolded,” he said. It sounds harsh at first. Parents care for children when they're struggling. But isn't that simply what good parenting looks like? Yes but that's not quite Sadhguru's point. His argument is that children shouldn't grow up believing that sadness, illness or distress are the easiest ways to receive love and attention. Because children are always learning, not only from what parents say but also from what parents consistently respond to.

Picture a child running around the house, thrilled about something. They're alive with energy and full of excitement. Instead of meeting that energy, adults often try to contain it. “If a child is jumping with joy and screaming, parents would be like ‘Hey, why are you screaming?’”. Sadhguru says it’s a reaction many parents will instantly relate to. Of course, children need boundaries. No one is arguing that parents should allow chaos at all hours of the day. But there's a difference between teaching a child manners and making them feel their happiness is somehow a problem. When joy is repeatedly met with irritation while sadness is met with warmth, children notice the difference. And they don't forget it.

One of the most interesting parts of Sadhguru's observation is rooted in basic human psychology. People keep doing what brings them rewards. Children are no different. “Because a child must understand, he must invest in being well and not in being unwell. If he thinks being unwell physically or mentally, I will get a lot of attention and rewards, he will work towards being unwell,” he explains. Now, think about it from the child's side. When they're cheerful and doing fine, everyone is busy going about their day. However, when they're sick, upset or struggling, they suddenly become the center of everything. Gradually, without even realizing it, the child begins to associate care with distress, attention with suffering and being loved with being unwell.

Children today are growing up in a world where emotional well-being is a growing concern. Conversations about anxiety, loneliness and mental health are everywhere. Supporting children through difficult emotions is necessary but so is reinforcing the good ones. Yet most families direct their emotional energy towards problems such as bad grades or the sick days. Meanwhile, moments of joy often pass without acknowledgment. The child who is happily reading a book, the child who is dancing around the living room or the child who is simply feeling good; these moments matter too, possibly more than most parents realize.

Sadhguru isn't saying to stop caring when things go wrong. A sick child needs care, a sad one still needs comfort and an anxious child still needs support. But here's what most parents miss. Care shouldn't only show up during the hard moments. Alongside that, parents should also make a point to celebrate wellness. Notice when your child is happy, step into their excitement instead of quieting it and acknowledge their enthusiasm instead of managing it. Make joy feel just as important as pain. Because if the only time a child truly feels seen is when something is wrong, that becomes the lesson they carry.

Sadhguru says it simply, “Being unwell will not bring any rewards to him. He must understand this in a very deep way.” And that understanding has to come from experience, not words. Children don't learn it because a parent explained it once. They learn it because of what they lived through, day after day, in small ordinary moments. So here's the question worth asking yourself: when did you last give your child the same attention for laughing as you did for crying? Because some of the most lasting lessons in parenting aren't delivered during the hard moments. They happen when a child is laughing, thriving and full of life and whether the people around them choose to notice. It tells children something no lesson ever could: that their happiness matters too.