The everyday words that shape your child’s confidence

Snehaalata Shah, Parenting & Mom BloggerAarit once came to me with a small painting. Honestly, it wasn’t very easy to understand—and to be frank, it wasn’t that great either. But he came to me with the happiest smile on his face. Instead of pointing out what was wrong, I said, “Oh my God, this is so beautiful! Can you tell me what you’ve drawn?”Immediately, he started explaining his imagination behind the painting.The next day, he came back with another painting—slightly better than the first. I motivated him again, telling him how beautiful it was. And he kept doing this every single day. One day, he actually drew something so beautiful that it made me pause and reflect on how important it is, as a mother, to encourage your child consistently. That day it was learning for me , every child is not perfect but appreciating his efforts at each step can take him to perfectionI often wonder , what if on the very first day I had corrected him or didn’t motivate him? Probably he wouldn’t have tried again.I now follow this same rule in every task he does, and as a parent, I can clearly see the positive impact and growth in him. Even when I talk about my elder daughter, she had a lot of body-shaming issues while she was growing up. I always told her at home that whatever people say, you should just say, “I am cute, I am beautiful, and I love myself.” That positive impact never affected her mental state negatively.I truly believe the way you start at home reflects on your child, and that’s the reason I feel positive words make a lot of impact. Today, she doesn’t have that feeling that she is a little healthy or on the heavier side. If anybody says anything to her, she simply replies, “I love food, I enjoy eating food.” That’s how she takes it.The moment you, as a parent, don’t help your child with positive words, or you start body-shaming at home, it affects their focus and growth. So I strongly feel positive words make a lot of impact.I have always told my child that, you know, you are going to be a good professional in your life, and that’s how they look at themselves in the future. I asked my son what he wants to become, and he says, “Mama, I want to become an army officer. I want to become a police officer.” That’s because I always talk about positive things.That positive impact has created an amazing mindset in my child—that army people are the best people in the world, and he wants to become one like them. So I guess you guys can make sure that your child is always surrounded by a positive mindset and not negative words.Like I have shared in my stories, I always tell my child this story: once, two children were near water. The elder one fell down, and the younger one started crying and looking around for help, but there was nobody near the village to help him. Then he looked around and saw a bucket. The child was just five years old, but he took that bucket, threw it into the water, and pulled the elder one out despite the heavy weight. Both of them then went back to the village.When people heard the story, they said, “How did you save the elder one when nobody was around?” One old wise man said that it happened because there was nobody there to say, “You cannot do it.” And that’s the reason the younger one could do it.So I feel that principle—of nobody saying negative things in that moment—can help a child do anything. When there is nobody to say no, a child believes they can do it. That’s how this principle works.