Kids develop the habit of keeping secrets with age
As kids grow, they tend to filter what information they need to share with their parents and what to keep as secrets. This is a trait every kid learns with age and it sort of comforts them. No matter how lenient you are as parents or how friendly you are with your kids, there are certain things your kids will definitely hide from you.
Why do kids keep secrets from their parents?
The tendency of keeping secrets from parents starts especially from the beginning of teenage. It mostly depends on the way kids are disciplined by their parents. The restrictions make them hesitant to share information with their parents. The degree of discipline somewhat relies on the kind of secrets kids keep from their parents. While kids who have stricter parents tend to keep more secrets, and those with less strict parents share more.
It is okay to let kids have secrets, but how much privacy should they be allowed?
Keeping secrets makes kids aware of their personal space. With secrets, they learn what is personal to them and what they should not share with others. But how much of it is good? There should be a limit to this. Kids should not be left with lots of secrets of their own because as a result of this, they tend to lose their personal and emotional attachment with family members. They try to live with their secrets and increase the periphery of their privacy.
How can parents help kids to not overburden themselves with secrets?
Parents should be alert about their activities but should not be too nosy. Do not force the kid to open up on the secret. Let them speak about it on their own. If it is a harmless secret encourage them to speak about it always instead of hiding it. If it is a harmful one, take the necessary actions at the earliest.
What can parents do?
Take your time; have patience. You should not expect your level of maturity with your kids. Kids keep secrets out of fear of getting punished. The first job should be to ease them to believe that there will be no punishment if they speak about it. Observe your child’s habits and try to estimate the secret that he/ she is keeping from you. Create a safety zone between you and your kid so that they feel comfortable in speaking about it to you.
Which are the unsafe secrets parents should definitely try to know?
While some secrets are not a problem to be kept hidden, there are certain secrets that need to be addressed immediately. Secrets like harassment from elders, bad touch by someone else, playing games that are meant for adults, watching movies and shows which are exclusively meant for adults and repeated episodes of bullying should always be addressed immediately.
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