Mindy Kaling talks about the struggles of being a single mom

‘The Office’ writer and ‘Never Have I Ever’ creator Mindy Kaling is not just a witty writer but only a loving mom to two beautiful kids – 4-year-old Katherine and 2-year-old Spencer.

The actor, now 43, became a single mom to Katherine when she was 38 years old. She welcomed Spencer two years later. However, she acknowledges that it truly takes a village to raise a child, and has had no guilt in seeking help from her father, nanny and some friends.

Despite the support, Kaling has had her share of societal judgements that sometimes make her rethink about her otherwise confident choices.

In her recent appearance in Meghan Markle’s podcast ‘Archetypes,’ Kaling admitted that earlier she did have plans to get married.

She said, “I’m a highly traditional person, I came from a really happy nuclear family … I wanted that for myself, plus more. Growing up, I used to write in journals like, ‘I’m going to be married to a guy named Josh and we’re going to have five children and I’m gonna start having kids when I’m 24’.”

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It was after her dating experience that Kaling realised she has not yet found anyone she truly wants to settle with for life. “I would be in these relationships and in the cold light of day when I looked at them was like, ‘would this be a person who I could share a life with?’ And the answer would be ‘no’,” she said.

While she is still open to finding someone whom she’d like to marry, Mindy once shared, “I think of myself as my kids’ parent, and if I have someone that comes into my life down the line, that would be great, but I don’t think it’s their responsibility. It’s mine. They’re just, like, my blood; they’re my responsibility.”

Kaling is able to identify when people would get uncomfortable with the fact that she is a single woman with children, and would try to set her up with just anyone.

“When you’re a certain age and you’re a single woman, if you go to a party, it bums people out. And they want to set me up with some loser they know. And I’m like, I’m okay. I’m a rich, successful woman with great clothes and a nice family,” she explained in the podcast.

While the actor is confident of her choice, the pressure has made her worry if her kids would have been happier with a dad around. “The idea of like, ‘Why not me? Why am I not the person that got married?’ I think that’s harder to talk about. I’m still examining it. It makes me emotional … I do know that that would be so valuable for my kids, you know, that they have a dad. It wasn’t our lot, our family’s lot in life, and I do think about it with wistfulness and then also fear what will they think when they get older?”

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Kaling also acknowledges her financial privileges and support from friends and family that plays a big role in helping her achieve her choice of being a happy, proud, single mom.

She shared, “I have my community that allows me to have that decision. And also, I waited until I was in my late thirties to have children because I knew I needed the resources to be able to do it comfortably. And not everyone has those abilities.”

In another interview, Mindy talked about the fact that her kids are truly happy and it fills her heart with joy to see them this way. “The biggest reward is seeing how happy my children are. Like, they’re just so full of joy and so funny. There’s nothing jaded or cynical about them… they just love life. For whatever reason, they have no fear in expressing themselves. You know, I was a really shy kind of repressed kid, [with] ‘be seen and not heard energy,’ and they’re very heard. And I feel great about that.”

Mindy also keeps sharing special moments from home on her Instagram handle, capturing her love and awe in watching them grow and learning from her little ones.