Did you lose your cool? It's time to relax
If as a parent you think you can always be the most perfectly calm and composed person, then your idea is bound to shatter sooner or later. There may come a time, or might have already happened, when you lost your cool and yelled at your kid. Or you might have felt annoyed or snapped at them. In any case, it is very natural for tensions to arise between a child and their parents. The conflict is not as important as how you deal after it. Conflicts are almost inevitable, but how you clean up the mess is what sets you as a good parent.
Do not punish while being angry
It is easy to use your authority to discipline your child and put an end to a tantrum or bad behavior. However, it is recommended to not issue punishments especially when you are emotionally upset. Take a deep breath and try to clean up the mess. Read on to learn how.
See the situation from your child's point of view
It is easier to get upset from a child who "just doesn't listen" or "understands" the situation. However, it is equally important for parents to understand the child's point of view.
Toddlers' brains are not even developed enough to 'plan' to embarrass you in front of others. So understand that you both are always in the same team.
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Calm down to model the right behavior
Are you in control of your emotions? It can be difficult to parent a kid not in control of their behavior or actions, if you yourself cannot keep your calm. Good and appropriate behavior cannot be taught overnight. Using punishments can even make things worse.
Even the difficult situations can become a learning experience for your child if you model the right behavior after a spat. It shows the kid how to appropriately restore emotions after losing it and stay in control of the situation.
Always apologize after you lose it
This is a super important step and you have to learn that apologizing to your child will not make you a smaller person. It will only show that you too are human and not another species that can never be wrong and never express apologies.
Ideally, this should be done immediately after you regain your composure. The idea is not to emotionally blackmail your child or blame them for making you lose it. Take responsibility for your words and actions and communicate on how you can make it work.
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Avoid repeating the incident
Lastly, it is important for both the parent and the child to learn from an ugly situation instead of dismissing it. Personally, once everything is over, try to figure out what went wrong, where you lost your cool and what you can do to prevent it from happening next time. Again, since conflicts are mostly unavoidable, try to find better ways of handling differences instead of yelling, shouting, warning or punishing in any way.
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