And now for something completely Indian

At times I have seen and read a sometimes-puzzling use of language that comes under the generic name of Indian English.
For example, the slogan for the soft drink Thumbs Up ("I want my thunder!") would be laughed away in the United States and Canada because "thunder" is often a colloquial term for air escaping as a result of flatulence, and "thunder-box" a colloquialism for a lavatory.Double Bull, an Indian clothing label, would not sell in the western countries because "bullshit," an Americanism for nonsense or rubbish, is sometimes abbreviated to bull, as in "Don''t give me bull." Or "It''s all bull."
In response to comments by the readers and equally out of my own interest, I have been exploring how English is evolving and being adapted in India to the needs of the Indians. As a starting point, here is an example of a risumi I was sent a couple of years ago in response to my search for a temporary assistant while visiting India.
Indian English is as legitimate and unique a style of English as is American English spoken and written in the U.S. Drawing a line between what is legitimate and what is not, what colloquialism may be incorporated as an idiom or as an -ism (as in Americanism and Indianism) would be a matter of scholarly debate.
Since language is primarily a tool for communication for scholars and the unscholarly alike, let the readers decide whether the example given below can be considered to be true Indian English or not. It sometimes reminded me of the imaginative and unconventional use of English in the lifestyle section of Times of India.
In the U.S. and Canada, the practice is to keep a risumi (or curriculum vitae, meaning course of life) brief and businesslike, to avoid flowery language and to use a simple, easy to read font (type face) so that the information can be seen at a glance. Although the example quoted below might be an exception, it still is not far from the general style and content of risumi-writing in India.
It was printed in hard-to-read Gothic font, and is reproduced with all its original barbarisms, spellings and syntax. It should be noted that the candidate was a teacher of English at one of the places that claim to teach one to speak English in a matter of a few weeks.
The Person: (name)
The Background: Nestled in the supine, sepulchral but salubrious & snug backwaters of the womb, I debuted in this wondrous world, that''s, but a stage (a la shakespeare) when the 19th dawn of (year) was still trying to disenchant itself from the innocent enticements of its dusky, star swathed sweetheart - the night, reluctantly bidding it au revoir. Post the clinical confines of the natal nursing unit, I entered into the home, hearth & hearts of Mr. (name), presently a Sr. Manager with the (organization), Mrs. (name), a homemaker, who also make us love life, & my elder sister, Ms. (name).
After a sweet sojourn in Lucknow, we were rivetted to Roorkee where I took in the sights & sounds, falvours & fragrances, tastes & tangs, caresses & caprices of my chunk of this prolific planet, before returning to Lucknow in the early 90''s. The cushy kidhood evanesced & I traipsed into a tremulous teenhood.
Here, I relished my rainbow reveries & revved upto rife raggings, had my measures of mellow mush & moony muses, fervidly faced the facts of life while still fawning over fantasies & craved for my candyfloss crushes besides calculating my career concerns.
Now, waiting to excel & exhilarate.
The Education: I''ve been schooled at an institution of repute, St. Ann''s Convent, Roorkee, which is famed not only for the impeccable ideals it instills in its alumni but also for its avant garde avenues to academics... .
The Experience Professional: I jumped the gun on the job bandwagon when I was in my last semester at school, ie the early ''95, as an Astt. at my aunties dress-designing outlet. Between the hiatus of passing out of school & going for my grad levels, in the latter half of ''95, I signed up with (organization) as a Mktg. Executive. Last year, was appointed a Teacher in English at the American Centre for Languages. Am freelancing as a Copywriter for an ad-agency... .
The Experience (Amateur): Compering - I posses a flair for. Have always been compering at school shows, alumni meets, college socials & inter & intra University dos & functions moving on to anchoring youth fests & cultural bashes organized by city-based youth outfits. I am majorly into Music - especially the western solo genre, have netted prizes at multifarious music competitions at school/college platforms, later taking on the stage at events of local culture groups.
Poetry has been a prime pursuit, has become almost a second nature. Also, creative writing of all conceivable colours. Have done some deft dress-designing which has been accepted by the trends boutique. Captained the school basketball team for the session ''94-''95. Do I need to say that the applicant did not get the job!
(Articles on language by Anand, a Lucknow-bred Canada-based journalist, are published in North America. His e-mail is anand@journalist.com.)