Fighting fit: Gir lion faces off with royal Bengal tigress in this gladiatorial joust 😜

Nothing excites Bengalis more than a good joust between rival schools of thought. In happier and gentler times the battle would be joined between football clubs Mohun Bagan and East Bengal, the winner of the match determining the price of prawns or hilsa. The war of fish and football is of course a fall-out of the fabled rivalry between bangals and ghotis, that is among Bengalis whose roots lie east of the Padma river (the bangals) and whose roots are in the west (the ghotis). Mutual condescension is gently expressed in suitably fishy style.

Football crazy Bengalis have also been known to take up cudgels on who is the better footballer, Maradona or Pele, Ronaldo-da or Messi-da, heated arguments that transport debaters sitting in Salt Lake or Kalighat to the international stage of the Santiago Bernabeu stadium. Another famous war was fought a few years ago: the battle for the rosogolla with Odisha claiming that the legendary sweet wasn’t native to Bengal after all. This caused outrage among Bengalis who argued that those who attempt to take the rosogolla out of Bengal, deserve nothing but a golla (zero) in the mishti test (pronounced taste).

The 2019 election battle though has acquired an altogether different flavour in Bengal because Didi has declared that Bengal will give PM Modi a big rosogolla in the elections, laced with stone chips. It’s Modi vs Mamata with Modi’s Shah-bondhu also somewhere in the machher jhol mix.

“When Narendra Modi accuses my party of extortion i feel like giving him a gonotontrer thappor (slap of democracy),” declared Mamata Banerjee at a rally. Yes, Gir lions roam in Gujarat but let’s not forget that in the Sundarbans in Bengal roars the royal Bengal tiger (or tigress). That’s why it’s best to realise that after three decades of CPM rule, Bengal’s politics is fighting fit. No wonder the Bengal CM has asserted, you won’t be able to fight with me Mr Modi, even as quizmaster Derek O’Brien vowed not to be cowed by the “terrible twins”. Gujaratis may like to say ‘su che, saru che, danda le ke maru che’ but Kolkata Knight Riders are chanting ‘korbo, lorbo, jeetbo re’ (we will do, fight and win).